Would be nice if you had someone who would point that out to you.
As an Emerging Man… in my discussions with younger men… who may or may not be “Emerging” I try to be conversational in my approach when I try show that young man some of the “negative” land mines he will have to traverse as he works toward his personal growth.
I’m beginning to use the submerged portion of an iceberg as a talking point.
It’s an image you can find online concerning “success”, it shows the submerged portion of an iceberg, with labels of what people DON’T SEE when they see someone who “has made it” to the pinnacle of success.
But it is precisely those things you don’t see that allow you to be successful.
Not that you can avoid them… like you would a real iceberg on the radar screen.
But… like still water… on a certain bend in the river you are about to fish… you were taught exactly where it is and how to navigate it, or fish it, safely.
But the danger of that “hole” is buried just as well.
You may never experience the bottom of that hole for yourself, except maybe… if you have a fish run into it… or… you try to get to the bottom of it with a line weight.
But you can see on the surface how the water roils. How it’s black. How it just looks dangerous.
So you learn it, how to navigate it, how to fish it, how to stay off of it during high water.
And the only thing you post to Instagram is the one Bass you took out of it two years ago!
As a new Emerging Man yourself you have experienced something that has you questioning yourself.
You know something is “wrong”, you can’t put your finger on it, and if you could, you wonder where you would begin to start.
So start with the feeling of… “something has to change. But what?”
It’s you. You have to change. That’s one of the first things that is under the surface. As you progress, people will notice. And they will think, much like you did in the past, “Must be nice. He must be getting lucky.”
What about you has to change?
Your mind. You will have to learn to tell yourself, “I have to change my mind.”
“About what,” you might ask.
As you learn and grow… the first thing you will notice going into your new processes… is that fact that you will need to change your mind going into them… because if you become honest with yourself… you will realize that you do not know, anywhere near, what you think you know.
And I haven’t seen that, specifically, on any of those iceberg images.
Not below, and certainly not above that water line.
So my goal is just to help you… identify that component… maybe help you learn how to navigate it… have it make you stronger… and have you appreciate it when you reach whatever the goal was that you had placed in front of yourself.
A tactic I use, is to tell myself, “This is new, time to change my mind, time to go into learn mode.”
And if I’m struggling for some reason, I’ll even go so far as to stop what I’m doing, grab my bow, and do a round of ten arrows. I’ve found the focus it takes to shoot ten arrows… changes my mind for me. Whatever the block was, mentally, on the component I was working on… disappears and I can re-focus my energy onto that specific task.
It works. So I keep doing it.
Are you just starting out? Are you down the road a ways on your own journey?
Have you developed a behavior that allows you to change your mind?
Have you determined how to ENCOURAGE, EQUIP & ENGAGE with those still waters and icebergs?