The Emerging Man… Has No Defined Lane, Yet!

Now that the “voice of others” has blessed me with the title of “Old Man”, even got the mug, I feel myself seemingly telling the same stories over and over.

Today’s article, may feel that way to you also, if you have been following along for awhile.

But pay close attention, there is a lesson about the business you want to start in here for you… and for me… the thing about an Old Man and his stories, is the fact that circling back to them… with new information… can really be eye opening, and helps to garner a deeper understanding, which allows us to grow, helping to fill us out into the men we hope to be someday.

The Emerging Man, site and articles, developed out of my “Personal Re-Branding Journey” of becoming a writer.

But the very first question I asked myself, in 2009, when I became “aware” that something “just isn’t right with me,” WAS… “Why don’t I feel like a man?”

Which led to the second question… “What is a man?”

At that time, I had the skills to surf the web to research things, like cheap car parts; but I wasn’t writing yet.

But after researching “manliness” a little bit, I found “The Art of Manliness” put together by Brett McKay.

I read the articles about how to wear a suit; how to get jail house strong; and his many articles on Theodore Roosevelt.

But the “thing” that stuck… was the fact that most, if not all, “great men” of history, all kept daily journals. Capturing their daily events; making notes of business dealings; and in the case of Marcus Aurelius, writing down very personal thoughts that allowed him to ponder his own beliefs about what he… professed… to believe in. He was trying to live out… what he had learned.

“They” say he never meant for it to be made into a book. It was just his journal.

But we have it now, and if you are on a manly journey… I highly recommend it… it’s called “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius.

I started and kept a daily journal of my search for manhood from 2009 until 2016.

In 2016 I met a man who was kind enough to have lunch with me… after I took the step of asking him if he could meet with me because… “I felt like God wanted me to talk to you.”

From that little lunch meeting came the very real experience of learning how to write a book… via… learning “how to write blog articles”, which would provide “the practice field” that I would need, to gain the confidence and skills, to write my first book.

“I was never at a loss for getting excited over a new endeavor.” Please see my current article about “excitement”…

Then, after writing a few “blog” articles I was like, “This feels right.”

The daily journaling has continued to this day. It is akin to taking a daily prescribed medication. For me, daily journaling, even a baby aspirin size writing, relieves my mind of anxiousness.

Today writing my website articles fills me with a tremendous amount of “good energy”, I literally can’t type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. [I mean literally, literally, I have to get better at typing faster.]

So here we are… today… seemingly sharing the same old story… for the umpteenth time!?!??

But with a new “wrinkle”, yep I started with clothes in 2009 and today in 2021 I have had an experience with a “manliness site” that has me pondering, much like Marcus Aurelius, my “belief” about “how a man should look.”

It started with a video, concerning how you show up to a job interview. The gentleman conducting the video was adamant that you not show looking out of sorts; smelling bad; having bad hair; having on a wrinkled up t-shirt… and so on. He is a high energy, warrior type, man, and his site directly projects that image.

I’ve recently started to interact with those others that I follow, as I “believe” I have determined what my “beliefs” are when it comes to manly topics.

Usually these types of videos, I have found, do have a specific target of say, “How to dress for a job interview,” if so, the video maker makes that clear.

Lots of times though the “job interview” topic is just used as a metaphor for “How do You show up for life?”

I left a comment… leaning towards the “life” aspect of how one should “look” for his day.

My comment coming from my personal experience of “it’s not the clothes that make the man,…”

Here is an article I did concerning “what to look for” as you and your wife, or girlfriend, are out and about on the town, or just shopping…

My comment centered around me, and my personal experience, of practicing my “manly presence” out in public.

I could have missed the point of the video… I thought he was pretty clear… the message I heard was, “Don’t be a slob!”

As a manager, I’ve had people come into a job interview, all liquored up, their clothes were fine. Their hair was fine.

But their “presence” was a shambles.

That is an extreme case. But how do we as an Emerging Man learn that it really is a battle for our mind? If you are going to go to the tavern, first, before going to a job interview… there is more you need to work on than picking out what flannel shirt goes good with your jeans!

I thought I was interacting appropriately with my comment… I wasn’t being snarky… I wanted a discussion.

His response… “Disagree 100%”

I tried to respond, maybe try to clarify my position, but when I tried it said, “access to video no longer available.”

I asked my youngest son, “What does this mean?”

He said, “He probably blocked you from making comments.”


Now, even for an Old Man, I know that is a long way to go… to get to here… here being a comment about your next business venture, or personal improvement journey, and where I am at with The Emerging Man.

It takes time to “find” yourself.

It takes time telling your story, multiple times, for you to understand what your message might be.

It takes time to then believe your own message to the point where you feel comfortable sharing it with the world.

It takes time to garner, new information, and new skills that might have you tweek your understanding and so have to tweek your message.

I stand by my comment that I made, which summed up, was…

“context dictates dress code.” The mans presence needs to exude from within himself, showing itself to the world by the way he carries himself… regardless of the clothes, or circumstances… he is currently covered with.

As “The Old Man,” me as “The Emerging Man,” is working to develop…

  1. The Message

2. The Lane… that that message fits into.

The discussions that I have with my own five, grown children, and those young men and women I come into contact with have shown me, at least for now, that my message of “positive manliness” is on track.

The lane is more of a coaching lane, I’m not an expert financial guy; or an expert style guy; and I guess, maybe sad to say, but I am not the warrior guy… you may be one or more of those… but you may not know that yet.

With the discussions that I do have with people, it seems I provide them with “additional things to think about” before they take a plunge; dive in head first; or otherwise takeoff on an adventure.

My personal experiences have lent themselves to those kinds of interactions.

I might not be the type of trail guide you thought you were looking for. One who has “been this way many times before,” I am a traveler, same as you.

I’ve maybe just been traveling a bit longer and so, I may not know what is lying over the next hill, but I’ve been up and down a bunch of hills, and can provide the information needed that can prepare you to take on a hill… and whatever is “just over the next one!”

So go out and let the world feel your presence… while you… ENCOURAGE, EQUIP, & ENGAGE!

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