From chaos into order… from confusion into consistency… from incompetence into mastery.
As an Emerging Man can you identify where you are now?
Can you identify chaos? Can you identify confusion? Do you know, whether or not, you are incompetent?
As I’ve mentioned previously, my youngest son, who is in his early twenties, and I, have been having some great discussions about what it means to be a man.
In some regards we are in the same boat… separated by thirty years of different types of experiences.
One of which is found in our childhoods.
Now to set this up properly I have to let you know this particular epiphany occurred within two visits home I had with him.
The first visit, over breakfast, his childhood came up. And one of his comments was, “We had the boring house.”
We discussed further, and one of the manly issues we discussed was that of “rough housing.”
He has two older brothers, all three participated in sports, he and his oldest brother went through the whole football program… from Pop Warner through high school, they both played quarterback and understood the concept of getting their teeth rattled.
So at home… I didn’t “rough house” with them; when they were little I wrestled with them but nothing too wild.
For a little more context of his epiphany, and his “boring” upbringing, I’ll share this. There was the time when he was a senior in high school; and he was “feeling his oats.” We were jaw jacking back and forth, he decided to ramp it up a bit, he grabbed me, and started pushing. He spun behind me and wrapped me up.
“What ya gonna do now old man?”
My wife was sitting at the dinner table telling us to knock it off.
But when he said that, I lowered my butt, gathered my legs underneath me, and with perfect timing my wife yells, loudly… “Don’t hurt him!”
My son did a short chortle; “Haha.”
And I calmly said, “She ain’t talkin’ to you.”
He let go rather quickly. We laugh about it now, now that he’s older and wiser.
Don’t worry. I wasn’t gonna hurt him. He would’ve let go of me though.
Plus, I’m just a little guy… he goes almost six feet, and at the time was over two hundred pounds.
But nothing happened, “boring” right?
Fast forward about a month, dinner time this time.
My wife cooks… a lot.
As we cleared the table we started one of our discussions, and as we got into it, my wife and daughter moved into the living room, leaving us at the dinner table.
We talk about so many things when we get going, it’s fun, he’s always had a wise mind.
Then out of the blue he says, “I get it now. Thanks”
Get what? What part?
“I appreciate how you kept it calm around here when we were little.”
You’re welcome. What opened your eye’s?
“I’ve been dealing with some college friends, and their issues with their families, and the stuff we have going on on your side of the family… it’s all chaotic; they’re all confused; they don’t know how to do anything; or want to take care of themselves… they just end up treating each other horribly and yelling at each other.”
“Thanks for the boring childhood. But is that the kind of chaos you grew up in?”
Understand now, why I kept a lid on myself around here?
Now… back to you. Mr. Emerging Man.
Where you at?
I didn’t like the chaos growing up, so when I had a family I made a conscious decision to try something different.
I look at my sons now and wish I had some of their manly qualities.
I can identify the manly qualities within them… and it allows me to create a picture of what that would like in my life… all the great books in the world provide plenty of historical men to emulate… but until you can create a “realistic” picture in your mind… of your manliness… you’ll be constantly “smashing the clay” never really molding anything… especially your manliness.
My kids didn’t grow up in chaos; or confusion; and they are very competent at life… and any endeavor they take on.
So… can you identify where, or what you are, or need to be… EMERGING FROM?
And… do you have a “realistic” “identified” DESTINATION that you can ENTER INTO?
Myself… looking back at my twenties, I realized I never “filled out.” My destination I’ve decided to move toward is one of “the best shape of my life.”
I started in 2016… so far so good.
“The best shape of my life” includes a 3 mile stretch of road; used for running; I hate running; but I’ve never been able to complete a 3 mile run… until now.
I think that’s a manly start. I’ve ENCOURAGED, EQUIPPED & ENGAGED myself FROM not running, INTO running… and meeting my goal thus far.
What are you EMERGING FROM? Chaos or Conformity? Immaturity? The Status Quo? Arrogance?
Don’t hide or bury your past; whether it was good or bad; use it as a map dot; then look forward and try to map the road you’ll need to take to get to your newly identified manly destination.
Even if that past… was just last week.