“Regardless of what he says, what a man does in the end, is what he intended to do all along.” ~ Cus D’Amato
When I was 18 and needed a job only three plants in the area were hiring.
And not having gone to college I assumed I could just learn as I go… as my “intent” was to be a business owner.
Because that’s what “all the experts said to do”.
So, in my “spare time” after work and after taking care of the kids, I started…
A Sign/Logo service… Fail;
A Critter Ridder service… Fail;
A Car Sales & Repair service… Fail;
All while working “the day job”; raising those kids, and even volunteering over a decade to youth baseball… so much for learning as you go.
The only thing that has remained is the day job and those darn kids; and now grandkids.
And as far as my current “writing career”, even though I know I’m still learning, I always get asked, “Make any money yet?”
… Fail.
Those kids of mine learned how to “win” and “accomplish” a goal; and critically they learned that a loss today doesn’t mean a loss tomorrow… that’s something baseball taught them.
I remember encouraging them as they grew up, all the while knowing I didn’t have a clue what I was talking about.
Their environment as little kids was as 180° different from mine than a person could get.
Two loving devoted parents… I didn’t have that;
No violence in the home… I didn’t have that;
And food, they never went hungry…
Then you have to ask yourself, “Well Dave, do you think it’s a lack of commitment on your part? And that’s why you fail?”
Define commitment? Do you mean “work”? I’m pretty sure I followed all the books advice as best I could.
By commitment do you mean “willing”?
I was willing to ask others for advice; willing to work late into the night; willing to lose sleep; willing to learn.
But what are you supposed to do when the phone literally stops ringing and no amount of marketing could get it ringing again?
Fail.
My kids learned how to win.
And I celebrated those wins… and when the losses came, and there were a couple of doozies… like the collar bone snapping kind… I was there quietly watching them cry on their mom’s shoulder.
So I’m not really sure what “winning feels like”.
I had a glimpse… but that’s when I was 10 years old… and that memory is getting older and older every day.
Don’t get me wrong… I can “slog” through; and I can “survive”; but life has a way of fogging over any win we may have… and as life proceeds along… it gets foggier and foggier.
My oldest son said recently, “I’m just looking for that thing that really matters. Like getting into the championship game in college. If I don’t make that out… WE go home. Not just me.”
If you were like me and did not have an environment that allowed wins, celebrated wins or even allowed for you to have the audacity to think that you can win… then we need to develop our own language to be able to create an environment for ourselves where winning “means something to us”.
It won’t mean anything to anybody but you.
But that really is the only person whose opinion matters… now isn’t it.
How do you identify a win? And more importantly how do you celebrate it?
theemergingman.com 