Failure is much like the mythical Kraken.
It’s basis is in reality.
See: Giant Squid
And with the reality of a giant Squid lurking out there… somewhere… being rarely, if ever seen, leaves a lot of room for our minds to create a monster out of it, like the ship crushing Kraken!
We have done the same thing with our view of failure, we’ve given “common failure” all of the Pachyderm-ian qualities of the Mythical; Made Up; Kraken!
Before we go further, a phrase, “Failure is not an option!”
The only time that I see this as an option is… if you are in the military and your life, and the lives of your men, depend on a successful execution of your stated mission/goals/or desired outcome.
And even then… those are the highest stakes a man could be facing.
Anything other than that, failure is not ONLY an option, but you can be certain of it!
So how do we brush away the mist and battle smoke that swirls around the real world word and experience of “failure?”
I struggled with this personal growth study.
I became angry about it. I felt like “failing” and “failure” actually were a lie!
I discovered, through a conversation I had, that I was angry because I could not get to a point where I could clearly articulate what I was seeing revealed to me in my study notes.
We build up “common failure” into such a Kraken sized obstacle, I’m surprised it can even fit under our bed at night. But it doesn’t have to be so.
I think we are conditioned from an early age to fear failure… only because those around us… parents, teachers and friends themselves, have a misunderstanding of the nature of “failure.”
For instance…
- The Kraken is mythical; never seen; the stuff of legend; and good for a scary bedtime story.
- The Giant Squid is real; but rarely seen alive; a few have washed ashore after dying; we are very curious about Giant Squid and can’t wait for more scientific information to come out about them, like, “just how big can one get?”
- The nature of “failure”… is real; we see it; we experience it; but we allot it Kraken like status, blowing it’s existence so far out of proportion we “know” and come to “believe” we can never truly defeat it… thinking, “that’s just the way it is,”… when in reality a “common failure” is the brightest, most obvious road sign, pointing you to the direction you need to go to be successful in what ever endeavor you are engaged in.
Failure is only bad… because someone at some point convinced you that it was.
I think that’s where my anger was emanating from… the feeling that I was taught WRONG!
I wanted to discount “failure” completely. And name it something else.
But that conversation I had convinced me that “failure” is a reality; it happens; it’s a part of the whole process.
So I went to my foundation, the Bible to see how the Word of God describes “failure”.
“I will not fail to speak of Leviathan’s limbs, its strength and its graceful form.”
“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”
“Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail.”
As for a common definition Merriam-Webster has “fail” as…
1a: to lose strength : weaken
2a: to fall short
And if we go back even farther and look into its etymology we find…
“…from Latin fallere “to trip, cause to fall;”
“Dave! You mean to tell me, that “failure,” and the weight I’ve given it my whole life, really just boils down to me stubbing my toe on the coffee table!?!”
Well… yeah.
The question then is, “How do we need to view it now?”
For me, it was revealed through my archery notes.
As I studied “failure” I used my archery hobby to break it down, and to see at what point was I a “failure.”
Turns out I’m not… and wasn’t a “failure” at all. Let me explain.
When I returned to archery in late 2017 I would be taking it up using a ‘new’ compound bow versus my ‘old’ traditional recurve bow.
Way different set up.
So I embarked on a “learning journey” and even reached out to some young guys who really know their stuff, to get me situated on the right track.
*Success
After having those guys check my equipment I went and shot with them. I noticed some of my recurve skills transferred over, one, not having to do with the equipment, but judging distance, was spot on. But even that one… I would get better at, after purchasing a range finder and practicing more, my skill just allowed that learning curve to be smooth and short.
*Success
So, during my study I listed 10 items, off the top of my head, concerning archery, in which I looked and weighed out… was I a success or was I a failure.
Now at each specific juncture… did I fail, or miss the mark somehow?
Sure did. Know it for a fact too. Because I would end up shooting thousands of arrows before going on my first archery hunt.
But “overall” my embarking on a new archery journey was a huge success!
I looked intently into my “failures”, like staring into a campfire, I stared and stared… and stared some more.
And there it was.
Each “failure”, each miss, or equipment failure… WAS GREAT INFORMATION TO HAVE!
Why?
Because those misses were teaching me, training me, and providing a level of understanding that I would not have gotten if I had been hitting the bullseye every single time.
(Note: This is just learning about shooting the bow and arrow; it doesn’t mention also having to learn about “the woods” and “the deer, and their behaviors”)
*Success *Success *Success…
That’s when it hit me, “I’ve been lied to! Failing isn’t a character flaw on my part! It’s just learning! NOW I KNOW!”
As an EMERGING MAN you will have to try and change your mind, the very way you view “failure”… it is not the end of the world… it is not a blemish on your manhood… or a knock against your character… YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!
Know this… “Arrows do not lie”
Your “misses” in life… “Do not lie”
Instead we look at our “failing” or “miss” as “good information to have” and we study it… to see what it is telling us.
Example: An arrow misses left; I go see; I notice a fletching coming loose; I don’t use that arrow until it’s repaired; I shoot another arrow; still missing left; I go see; the arrow is good; it missed two inches left but had the right height; I look at my feet; how did I have them placed; I was a little open; I adjust my feet; I shoot the same arrow again; HIT! a bit left now but on the bullseye!; I review the arrow rest; I review the sight pin; an allen bolt is a little loose; I tighten the bolt; I re-shoot the same arrow; BULLSEYE!
Then the trick is… shoot another thousand arrows to make it a habit.
NOW… as an EMERGING MAN… we just need to apply that to all aspects of our lives.
Failure is not an option… it is a guaranteed step we use to be successful!
The Emerging Man… writing to ENCOURAGE, EQUIP & ENGAGE!
And offering Positivity with Work Gloves!
theemergingman.com 
There is a huge difference between failing at something and being a failure. All of us have failed, we can either become beaten by the failure or learn and excel next time. Depends what we do with the lesson provided to us.
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