The Emerging Man.com, my little blog space that allows me to “stop.. and think out loud” to myself… and to you.
Today’s topic is for those who are just starting to consider changing… completely… what it is you do for a living, or a person, like me, who is trying to completely re-brand themselves into MORE of a man than what I was yesterday.
They may be intricately woven together… you and your character and you and your job.
I would like to address a specific topic you will run into on a journey such as this.
All of the positivity books, videos, and podcasts (except for David Goggins) in my estimation, offer only a hollow idea of this particular step in the journey… which is, “At what point do you start to release, or let go of, current responsibilities so that you can pursue the next needed responsibility in your new endeavor?”
The books and videos will offer a nugget such as this, “Everyone’s journey is different, you will have to assess your particular needs and wants accordingly.”
No sh1* Sherlock… I bought your book hoping it could help me with a specific thing, I don’t need anymore vague information!
Let’s start with sleep.
My current “day job” runs 4pm to 4am, 2 days on 2 days off, with every other weekend working 3 days.
And on those work days I’m up at 8am to watch the grand-babies while others finish school and work.
I take a nap from 2 to 3pm. Then get up, get ready, and go to work.
Then on my days off. I watch the grand kids till the evening. Have supper and try to be sitting down and writing at 7 or 8pm… and will write for however long the project I’m working on requires.
I recently completed a book due out this year… The Joker: A Story About A Guy, A Gal & Gasser.
So most writing nights since October 2022 ran into the wee hours of the morning, I would make myself stop at 2am.
That, to me, will be your first indicator that your new endeavor is becoming serious… you think you are lacking sleep right now, but when you get excited about YOUR NEW THING… real sleep goes out the window.
Now… you can’t do that forever.
Once my book was completed and turned over to my client for approval… I crashed. Hard.
I was unable to “schedule” a few vacation days to rest, and so I went on for a month or so, and finally had to use, what we called back in high-school, “self-applied merit”.
I was able to rest for a week.. starting mid-shift, on a Sunday no less, and had off till the following week, Monday.
I didn’t catch up on sleep until about 10pm on Thursday.
The only thing I took care of was those grand-babies and taking the trash cans out on Tuesday!
No work; No writing; No house projects. Just kids.
And that got me thinking about our specific topic, “When do we let go of a responsibility or requirement of our current life position so that we can build the DIFFERENT life that we want to live?”
Sleep… can be put off, but not indefinitely.
Current job… can be put off, but for how long? Depends on “your numbers”. Do you know your numbers?
Family… here, if you didn’t catch it between the lines above, are my personal lines in the sand. If there is no one else who can watch the grand-babies, I’ll call in, even on a Sunday/double time, to make sure the kids are safe.
And, as they say, “Therein lies the crux!”
There are only so many seconds in a day and my writing is now encroaching on my seconds that I need for being healthy i.e. sleep, work, house projects and helping with the kids.
It’s a good problem to have I think… but I can see where people, probably a lot of people, would give up at this point…
it’s hard; there’s stress involved; it makes you question if what it is you are doing, or what it is that you are chasing…
is even worth it!?!
Now, I’ve switched “day jobs” before, to me that’s simpler, stress? a little, sleep… about the same, the only thing you really worry about is, “Will I start this new job at the same pay I’m making now?”
If yes… it’s a simpler decision.
There is the next detail of our topic, “Are you making any money with your new thing?”
First… is that your goal? To replace your current day job pay with a more personally interesting way of making a livable wage?
Here’s where knowing your numbers comes in. And I mean ALL YOUR NUMBERS… hourly wage, health insurance, taxes, any business fee’s for permits (more taxes), retirement investments, the list of actual numbers to replace your current day job wages is a bit daunting for most to look at, it can SEEM insurmountable.
There is so much, business wise, that you never have to think about if you “just work for someone else.”
How do I know that? I attempted to run three small service businesses throughout my life that had varying degrees of success… but none so much so that I’m still doing those, being your own boss is hard, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
It’s a great feeling FOR SURE… but drumming up business and running that business takes some doing.
At some point, and I apologize for this one, because I will sound vague, but at some point you have to sacrifice something you know and are comfortable with for something new and unknown… and you alone are responsible for knowing when that is.
My original book deadline was April 1st, 2023.
Back in mid December my internal clock said I needed to get this book done ASAP! And so I sacrificed sleep and delivered the book early, in February.
And now I’ve had a few instances where I NEEDED TO WRITE and so had to re-coordinate when I could help with the grand kids. (Two beautiful granddaughters by the way!)
You, and me, want to improve ourselves, maybe we want to totally re-brand ourselves, and maybe turn that re-branding into a career that actually pays the bills and allows us the freedom to schedule our time… on our time!
Lofty goals indeed!
In short, as you either start, or maybe you are hitting the same spot that I am, you will need to become aware of what is truly important to you, examining every responsibility you currently have and weighing your options accordingly based on, “HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT your new life?”
The Emerging Man… writing to ENCOURAGE, EQUIP & ENGAGE!
Drop a comment with your experience about this topic.
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