The man was getting weary. The recent leg of his journey had been long, a steady march forward. It didn’t feel tiring as he made his way along the trail, but now, a day or two later, he had a weariness deep down in the pit of his stomach and some of the usual aches and pains.
It was the feeling in the pit of his stomach that was concerning him.
It had a tinge of sadness to it. And a hint of jealousy.
He tried to shake it off, knowing he was tired and hungry he understood it was a time of needed rest, and reflection, on his journey thus far.
Along his journey to discover his manliness he had run into all kinds of people, some men, and a few characters.
He sat and meditated on his journey… starting at the beginning.
He did not have the opportunity to learn anything from, or hang out with, his grandpa’s… he missed out on that aspect of manliness.
He had a dad, but his dad wasn’t active in his life… he recognizes the fact that he did learn a thing or two from him… but they did not hang out together either… he missed out on that aspect of manliness.
He had some crazy friends growing up… as he was crazy also… but they didn’t hangout doing good stuff, like grouse hunting, they hung out at night… doing what lost kids do at night… so he missed out on that aspect of manliness.
He remembers looking at some athletes and wondering why he never “filled out” himself. Seems like he went right from a scrawny kid, to an overweight middle aged man, seemingly over night.
“No wonder I’m tired.”
Reflecting on those he’s met along the way he can’t help but feel that nobody really knows what being a man is all about… they acted like they never thought about it.
He drifted off a little, finding himself somewhere between sleep and eternity, having a hazy experience and thought of, “Am I dreaming, can I talk to God?”
He’s come to really appreciate the spiritual nature, and how He reveals himself along the journey at the most unexpected times.
Meeting all sorts of clerics he has come to realize they are just a man like the rest of us, maybe inspired… maybe not.
He chuckled to himself as his thoughts came up on the recent meeting he had with his first yogi.
After climbing the proverbial mountain and asking the yogi, “What is a man?”
The yogi replied, “A man is… what he is.”
Laughing to himself, the man thought, “I am weary. That is what I am.”
It seems to the man… that the gaps caused by a man missing a man in his early life, creates a true chasm in his character, in his behaviors, his skills… and most importantly… in his mental fortitude.
The simple act of a dad asking his son, “Why did you do that?” creates the opportunity for that son to stop and think, not only about the act, but also about his mind and decision making at the time.
Without those moments early on… causes the trail and journey for the man to be long, wearisome, and a struggle at times.
The dog barking shakes his mind awake, and looking at the clock he brings himself back in from the wilderness of his thoughts… to the immediate need of getting ready for work.
Note: If you are on a journey of self discovery… stop and look around once in awhile, realize you are weary for a good reason, rest up, fuel up, identify the emotion you are feeling right now… label it… then identify the action needed to be taken to alleviate that emotion i.e… hungry-eat; tired-sleep; jealous;stop comparing yourself to others.