A Mature Man is Deliberate

Getting Pheasants ready for training this morning and it dawned on me…

When we are looking for “what makes a man” it’s easy to see the “flashy money guy”, the “dedicated gym guy”, the “young, eyes down non-confrontational guy”, or the “unhinged drug induced lunatic, lacking any emotional control whatsoever guy,”…

But today revealed to me that the attribute that I have seen, but couldn’t describe, was that of, “BEING deliberate,” it’s a part of what I consider to be a “mature man.”

Now in today’s world when we hear the phrase “mature man” we tend to think of either ours, or… someone else’s dear old granddad, usually 82years of age, silver haired, a bit rickety, and posing no threat to anyone.

As I move along Manly Avenue as I continue on my Emerging Man journey the “loud men” stand out like barking dogs standing at the end of the driveway… and the missing men… I wondered where they were.

Then as I was sitting in my Pheasant run, deliberately blocking the door, deliberately and slowly using a fish net to grab one, and very deliberately placing them in their individual bird bucket after deliberately attaching a DNR leg band, and then locking that bucket with a stiff piece of wire deliberately, it dawned on me that a deliberate man… is a quiet man… in speech and in action… slow and deliberate.

Then I thought of some men I know that resemble those markers…

1. Older than me;
2. Quiet demeanor;
3. Having a quiet presence;
4. They keep their responsibilities manageable;
5. Are a “family man”;
6. A generally good relationship with money;
7. They all have a different approach to health and wellness;
8. And have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ or are long standing traditional church members.
9. And yes “deliberate” in their approach to life.
10. And deliberately dependable.

To me, those are men.

Can you be those things and be “the warrior in the garden guy”?

Can you be those things and be “the business owner guy?”

Or the “unskilled labor factory line guy?”

Or “the wannabe writer guy?”

As far as “maturity” goes I “feel” very immature as I measure myself against my own list… you’d think I’d fudge it a little to make myself feel better… but that’s just not me.

And as far as a timeline, or growth scenario goes, I feel like I missed out on “milestones” and “rites of passage” along my journey.

For instance back in my day a general rite of passage and milestone was one of going through either “real” basic training for military service, or the same tearing down and building up process that occurs playing organized sports all through high school.

Neither of which I did.

Never joined the service.

Quit sports during my 10th grade football season. (Horrible horrible day)

And my dad wasn’t an active dad that took me places; introduced me to things; or had deep conversations with me to try and teach me about what being a man is.

And so “things never mattered to me” that others would tout as being very important.

I just never saw it.

And if I did ever see it I certainly never witnessed any reward being given for it.

I know people who have gone the “high school sports” route and the “military basic training” route… in both disciplines, some make it, some quit… and all take their manliness to a new level… some in a positive direction and some in a negative direction.

And after asking some Veterans for input they all concurred it came down to a weak mental state that allowed those who quit… to quit.

Question: is the tearing down and building up of a person a biblical principle?

Yes.

But over and over it states to use “encouragement” as the main training tool.

To be used by an earthly father to “train up a child in the way…”.

It is in no way, shape, or form to elicit in the child a feeling of bitterness; emotional isolation; or a spirit of fear!

On the contrary… it’s meant to embolden; strengthen; and set in place a confidence in their relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ… so that, as they do mature into men they can take their place, standing shoulder to shoulder with Jesus to “do the good works” the Lord has in store… and then to pass that knowledge and experience on to the next… soon to be man standing in the gap.

I asked my brother, The Marine, to compare his time in boot camp to his spiritual journey now as a man… he stated…

“It’s sort of the same.

You have to leave your old mindset and actions behind.

But unlike boot camp, you are still AMONG everything of the world. The discipline and task compartmentalization learned in boot camp helps, but it only gets you to a certain point, because you can’t totally isolate yourself.

If you do, you hurt others and aren’t really serving the Kingdom’s purpose.

It’s tough.” ~ Don Bosquez USMC (once a Marine always a Marine)

After Action: Look at your next 3 days of responsibilities and ask yourself, “Am I being deliberate here? Or am I just zombie walking through my life?”

Write down what comes to you.

The Emerging Man… Encouraging Positivity… but with Work Gloves!