Happy New Year.
How’d you celebrate?
Did you toot a horn, or ring in the new year at midnight with a kiss?
Get $ht! FACED?
Wear any hats or masks?
You know the type of new year mask that is bright, flashy and lighthearted… meant to convey a spirit of “anything might go tonight” and gives the wearer a sense of control and anticipation looking ahead to the new year!?! With this tingly attitude the new year’s start… has us looking forward; planning; and putting our GAME FACE on!
What is it that causes us to want to cover our natural faces with either a contorted countenance or literal MASK?
What is it’s purpose?
I’ve learned something about MASKS.
from OED online etymology dictionary…
mask (n.) (person, place or thing)
1530s, “a cover for the face (with openings for the eyes and mouth), a false face,” from French masque “covering to hide or guard the face” (16c.), from Italian maschera, from Medieval Latin masca “mask, specter, nightmare,” a word of uncertain origin.
mask (v.) (action of)
1560s, “to take part in a masquerade” (a sense now obsolete); 1580s as “to wear a mask,” also “disguise (feelings, etc.) under an assumed outward show;” from mask (n.) and French masquer
The etymology hints at what I discovered.
A “Game face”, “Mask”, or “War Paint”, are meant to do two things…
- Give you confidence by changing your appearance
- And gaining that confidence by striking fear into the hearts of your enemies!
The week in between Christmas and New Years Eve is an excellent decompression week. A time for reflection and to “gird up your loins” for your new years goals and projects.
I start my goals for “next year” during the week of Thanksgiving, it’s just after my birthday, deer season is in full swing and having “gratitude” and “thankfulness” being on the top of mind.
Not MASKS.
This year I was “thankful” for receiving a “clean bill of health” from my Dr. and Mental Health Professional. With my Mental Health Practitioner suggesting a few books that would propel my personal healing forward, as they commented, “What you are doing now, personally, is advanced work, you’d make a good counselor.”
Once I received the first book I put what I read “into practice”, “applying” a bit of new information on “meditation” to good use… as it turns out.
“WARNING”, it read, “Facing your inner most fears and early childhood traumas can cause panic attacks, high anxiety, and stress that you may not be ready to deal with… so be kind to yourself, seek professional help if it becomes too heavy, but if you choose to go deeper and try to heal from your past… prepare yourself for the truth.”
I thought, “Whoa, kinda foreboding for a self help book… but duly noted.”
What’s that old line… “Hello darkness my old friend…”? But the one I really like about darkness is found in a Batman movie. The bad guy, Bane, monologues, “Ah I see you’ve adopted the darkness. I was born in it, molded by it…”.
It’s a cool line… me? I was afraid of the dark as a kid. I would cover my face with my blanket hoping whatever it was that was scaring me wouldn’t see me.
When I had my walk with God on a moonless night through a national forest, I discovered how dark, real darkness could be… when both physical light and spiritual light are absent.
(see my book ‘Killing Suicide’)
But the book I purchased was telling me to “return to the dark, shut off the lights, shut your eyes, and just remember, AND… don’t fight with what you find.”
See… that right there, back in the day, I would have chalked that up to just a bunch of goofy hippy talk. But I have matured since my “back in the day” days.
https://www.youtube.com/clip/Ugkx-AfXHZKuO9fIER895Y8IaaS4ZeFjDGEq
I was a bit irked at the “do not fight it”, instruction. Because my whole life I was looking for just a straight up confrontation in which I could stand and fight… now that I’m “big”… to see how they would fair against me as an adult (and not a little kid), standing against those things that would scare that little kid.
I’m in the process of renovating a space in my basement into a proper recording studio so that I can produce audio books as well as my paperbacks.
It’s not finished but is to a point that I can use it as a cave; a sensory deprivation space; with NO LIGHT… and no blanket… hello darkness.
Using the meditative practices from the book I was able to have two very truthful experiences.
The one that has bearings on today… a run in with my “inner demons” as I tried to uncover more truths of my inner child’s trauma experiences.
I had entered into the meditative darkness and as I allowed myself to “just remember” and was about to place my hand on the door knob of a long locked emotional door… it was at that moment that my inner demons came for me.
This time it was different though. This time… I had time. Time to observe. I didn’t panic. Being an adult I wasn’t scared into turning… and running away scared.
It was only a moment.
And as those terrifying MASKS of scary demons poured forth, by me “being brave”, … THEY turned. And as they rushed past me… I saw it. CLEARLY.
They were not real demons personal or otherwise, there was a face behind those MASKs.
My face! It was me!
Rather, it was “my inner child”.
Using the only tool he knows… FEAR.
And if that isn’t revelatory enough… the WHY he was doing that was even a bigger TRUTH to me.
The scary MASKs he used, were used, as an attempt to PROTECT me…or I should say HIM from any further damage.
It was his only way to try and control his surroundings… he doesn’t have the tools to face what is behind door number one… again… and the only way for that little kid to control anything is to come across as BIG AND SCARY the best way he knows how.
He knows I’m afraid of the dark, or was. And of those imagined things that supposedly go bump in the night.
He doesn’t trust me yet though, and the life experiences I’ve had, with the dark… or otherwise. He’s still trying to protect me. He doesn’t think I can handle what’s behind door number one any more that he can.
Trust is a funny thing… the truth can be even funnier because I can see where he’s coming from as I can’t even trust myself sometimes.
But like with a lot of things in life, his MASKS are actually blocking his vision. The eye holes are not sufficiently big enough for him to see anything other than what he is accustomed to seeing.
And he doesn’t see himself as an adult yet.
He’s still stuck.
But when we get to a place where we can remove our masks ourselves and clearly see the truth of our experiences and the origins of our insecurities as THE adult now… and hopefully an emotionally intelligent one… we can assume CONTROL of our lives, making choices and decisions, not out of fear and insecurities that hold us back, but out of having discovered what self love really means and how it allows you to really look out for yourself so that you can become the person you are meant to become… having a solid emotional foundation, not emotionally stunted, not emotionally afraid, and not using the immature tactic of hiding behind a MASK.
But have we gotten to a place in life where we don’t need a mask anymore?
They are so easy to put on. And provide just enough protection from the world that we don’t see how they restrict our personal vision and growth.
What is your MASK of choice? A WORK mask; a FRIEND mask; an ANGRY mask to keep the whole world at bay, along with keeping you from poking around in your emotional attic for any dusty doors?
Whatever it is ask yourself, “Why do I need to put this on? What is it about myself that I think I’m protecting?”
But be prepared for the truth.
My personal demons, and some random demons, did a fair job of keeping me in the “freeze zone” of the trauma response of “fight, flight or freeze”, and looking back on my life now from a new angle, with better information, and a more mature mindset I can see certain points in my life where, when confronted… I froze.
It happened when I faced bullies in elementary school, it happened when I faced bullies in middle school, and it happened in high school when I faced the most terrifying threat yet… talking to girls.
Certain moments in time that when I froze as I got older, I can now see it was actually my inner child freezing up, either because the experience was brand new… like talking to girls… or was the old standard of a bully… or molester… pushing me into a corner to cause me harm.
It needs to become obvious to us that we are stuck in one place “emotionally, mentally, and spiritually” and that THAT is very unhealthy!
It keeps us ”living small” lives.
Here is the poem I “borrowed” that line from…
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/928-our-deepest-fear-is-not-that-we-are-inadequate-our
“As we are liberated from our own fear,… are you in the EMERGING process of being liberated from your own fears; anxieties; and traumas?
I ENCOURAGE you to look at yourself today, and ask yourself, concerning moving forward in your life, in your emotions, in your insecurities… “Is TODAY just another day, OR is today… DAY ONE! Of your own EMERGING MAN journey?
Face your inner child, remove those old masks that are hindering your 2024 vision, and get a clear idea of which way it is you want to go!
Then go!
The EMERGING MAN… writing to ENCOURAGE, EQUIP & ENGAGE! by offering “Positivity with Work gloves!”
theemergingman.com 