What Character Do You Play

More than once, when I was a younger man, I would find myself waking up and saying, “Where am I? How the hell did I get here? Where are my glasses?”

Like putting on my glasses was gong to clear everything up.

Now as a bit older version of myself, as I walk along the path of an Emerging Man, I still find myself asking myself, “How the hell did I get here?”

Even though the “here” now… is way different than the “here” before.

When I was younger I just bluffed, or “acted,” a certain way to navigate life. I can’t remember where I heard this Shakespeare quote, but it rattles around in my mind quite often, and I have to wonder, as I try to answer the question, “Who are you?”, am I just playing a part? am I just “acting”?

As The Emerging Man, a “character” that I see myself as, maybe using Shakespeare might help to clarify if I’m “just acting” or not, as I near the end of my personal play’s run.

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely Players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His Acts being seven ages.”

“All the world’s a stage” is the phrase that begins a monologue from William Shakespeare‘s pastoral comedy As You Like It, spoken by the melancholy Jaques in Act II Scene VII Line 139. The speech compares the world to a stage and life to a play and catalogues the seven stages of a man’s life, sometimes referred to as the seven ages of man.

But the premise of “all the worlds a stage or the seven stages of man,” was ancient before Shakespeare’s time… he learned about the idea.

According to T. W. Baldwin, Shakespeare’s version of the concept of the ages of man is based primarily upon Pier Angelo Manzolli‘s book Zodiacus Vitae, a school text he might have studied at the Stratford Grammar School, which also enumerates stages of human life. He also takes elements from Ovid and other sources known to him.^[8]

In fact, Shakespeare developed the idea of all the world being a stage by reading the epigrams of Palladas the Cynic, whose work pre-dated all the sources cited above.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_the_world%27s_a_stage

I have felt like an actor ever since I entered onto the ‘world stage’ at the ripe old age of 18, as I had moved out of the house and on my own, before graduating.

Entering said world via stage left or right… I do not recall.

Most likely I just staggered in.

Yeah that’s me in the denim and wool jacket.

Looking back at that dude… absolutely rudderless. But thinking he was ready to take on the world.

At 18 I was just acting all goofy. Especially where girls were concerned.

But in just a few months after graduation, I would have to “clean up my act” and don the garb of a Groom. My “character”, sad to say, needed some development. It was close to 2 years before we would tie the knot.

Maybe she saw something in me that I didn’t.

It’s funny how you “act” different around your new in-laws. We attended her older brothers wedding. We met everyone at the hotel where my in-laws were staying.

My father-in-law says, “Help yourself, drinks are in the bathroom.”

Weird. But, “Ok.”

I was laying low, being polite, not eating or drinking as was my nature… to excess… you know, I was employing the manners you use when company comes over… except in this case… I was the company.

Well, when I opened that bathroom door, you would have thought I discovered the Lost Dutchman’s Gold Mine of booze! Because that bathtub was full to the hilt!

I just thought to myself, “What am I getting into here? They didn’t “act” like this at home.”

I still didn’t show my true colors though… I only had one. Before going to the church.

But then, later on, good news. “You’re gonna be a dad!” Alright, Alright, Alright!

Nope. He’s not an only child. We end up with 5 of em’. 5 kids too. Just a joke. We have a family; 5 kids; on our 5th dog; third cat; but dad? I blustered through that too. I did everything opposite of how my dad did it.

I liked that part of the “seven stages” and was trying to definitely “act the part.”

“Time fly’s” as they say.

The part of the play, right before intermission, you know the long boring part of the play, yeah you know it, it’s the part called “work” we all pretend there as much as we can. We “act” like we like it… don’t lie!

I didn’t mind this job, really, I feel like I finally grew up as I worked there. That was my “third act” as a worker. Left high school, got a factory job, left there and went into landscaping, had a family of 3 and needed something more steady, but wives get nervous when you talk about quitting a job, but my oldest brother mentioned they needed a loader/forklift operator, so over lunch I filled out an application and bada bing a short 6 or 7 months later was hired.

Worked there just over 21 years, “played all kinds of parts and characters”… maintenance guy, sales guy, car mechanic guy, counselor guy, guy at cafe… no, really, they have a great cafe to eat lunch at… plus a bunch of other supporting roles over the years.

Wrote my first book there, still got the coat.

Being a new dad seems like a hundred years ago now. Now I’m a Grand-dad. And have played many a part, worn a few different hats, and have had my character carved on more than once.

And currently having come full circle in my work life, finding myself working in another factory, to pay the bills, while I figure out The Emerging Man that I would like to be.

Up until now all of my interests and endeavors have felt like “rehearsals”.

Now this one says, “Gwamps sure likes his naps.”

He wasn’t fond of sheep, but he loves pheasants! Me as a “hunter”.

Me as a teacher, visiting the farm, had to show her how you get a calf with their head stuck… unstuck.

So now, at this juncture of “the play”, having navigated “the stage” enough to know “where things… and people stand,” my goal as an Emerging Man is do things with intentionality, at the moment they need doing.

If I had to use one definition of what kind of man I think I was, or am currently, based off of my personal “script” I would have to say, “Family Man”. Because that is where all my focus goes.

I wasn’t, nor am I looked upon as a “Money Man”; “Outdoors Man”; or “Manly Man”. Even though I can “play the part.”

Me being “manly”… “Sure I can hold that tiger for ya.”

I guess when I look at those people I admire, they all, to me, have 1 characteristic that stands out, that makes them who they are, they are known by it, by everyone… my best friend, a couple mechanics I know, a friend of mine who does real estate, my own kids.

It’s my kids who I marvel at the most. My wife and I wanted them to be better and have it better, so we didn’t force them into things that we wanted, we tried to see how they were built as soon as possible and feed that. It worked. They are happy in what they do… or are attempting to do… and they’ve been doing it their whole life.

I see the focus that they, and those other people I know, bring to their lives in that area they are known for… and I admire that.

I at times, on the other hand, I feel like I’m flailing away at the proverbial wet sack, swinging this way, then that way, as far as skills and abilities go… sure up till now I’ve been able to “dance my way” across the stage and figure out how to do whatever the situation required of me, and hoping against hope, that nobody stops me to ask, “Have you read the script?”

A life of “improvisation” at it’s finest.