What to expect in today’s article.
- A real life experience concerning my personal foundation
- A teachable moment realized
- How to apply head knowledge to our personal character
- As a man how to make an apology
- Some word definitions for building foundations
- A wrapped up article which is hopefully encouraging, equipping and engaging
Last week I put forth an article, and in it I stated that, “I am using the Word of God as my personal foundation.”
This week, that proclamation was tested.
I had published a “reel” that contained profanity. Including the usage of the G- word.
I had hash tagged two main individuals.
One of which who does not hide his faith in Jesus Christ.
I published the “reel” knowing it may cause a kerfuffle, but I wasn’t really sure… I hemmed and hawed over it with The Holy Spirit, edited “in” what I thought was an “out” for me, and published the “reel”.
Now… here is something I learned from Pastor Adrian Rogers of Love Worth Finding Ministries.
He said, “When you’re working with The Holy Spirit and you have to ask the question, then you already know the answer.”
Huh?
Here is his explanation.
“Say you and your wife are going out to eat. And you, the husband, holler out, ‘Honey is this shirt too dirty to wear?’ and without leaving her curling iron she hollers back, ‘Yes, get another one.’
The husband then pipes up, ‘But you didn’t even look at it!’
And the wife replies, ‘If you had to ask you knew already it was too dirty.”
My “reel” was ‘too dirty’ and I had asked The Holy Spirit, but instead of being obedient to the Word… I went for the laugh.
And then the phone call came in. It was my friend that I tagged. He said, “Dude, you’re making it hard on me with those other guys.”
Now, for a long time, I’ve known Gods Word proclaims we should, “keep perversity far from our lips”, I know that. I can think of a few other verses off the top of my head that say the same thing.
Why can’t, or… why won’t I… be obedient to Gods Word in this area of my life? It’s like leaving a gate unattended or a stone foundation unfinished.
When do we build further on what little personal character we have as our foundation?
In a masonry foundation there are 3 main stones.
You have “The Cornerstone”, “The Capstone”, and “The Keystone.”
Each having a specific job description. The first provides a solid base; the second a solid cover; and the third locks them all together and holds them in place.
In the Bible Jesus embodies all 3 of these stones and their job duties!
In my life the closest thing to a foundation that I had were these three words…
“Duty, Discipline and Honor” and I tried to attain to those when life, or my bad choices, would place me under the gun.
Enter the thought of a ‘teachable moment’. “I could use this as an opportunity to grow.”
I went into my social medias and deleted the “reel” in question.
Then, I direct messaged the “other” gentleman I had tagged, and offered a simple and sincere apology.
If you are a man, young or old, and you think apologies are weak… you need to do some more reading.
In my youth if I was called on the carpet for something, my response was, “DENY! DENY! DENY!”
As I’ve matured, if I was involved in something, I step right up to see what the problem was, BECAUSE NOW… I know full well that I do not operate from a position of malicious intent.
And if I was wrong. I’ll fix it.
So that’s what I did.
If you’ve never had anyone teach you how to make an apology, here is mine.
“Good Morning sir,
I’ve been informed I’ve caused you some distress. My apologies, that was not my intent.
I’m sorry that I “dirtied up” your online presence by including you in my hash tags.
I have deleted the “reel”, please understand that I meant no disrespect.
Again sir, my sincerest apologies.”
Dave Bosquez
I received a message back from that gentleman… thanking me for reaching out and clearing the air.
That’s what men do… in my book.
Pardon the pun… but I’ve been able to “swear off” other things in my life that were bad for me, or could have been bad for me, like smoking, why can’t I clean up my “foundational language”?
I didn’t cuss when I worked with the public; in an office; or at church… ok, once I did at church but I wasn’t in the sanctuary, I was in the dining hall, but the pastors wife straightened me out right away. She said something about it, directly to me.
Like my friend calling me… directly.
My excuse has always been,
“That’s how I grew up, in a blue collar town, talking up a blue streak, where you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a bar, or two, every other building. My dad was a bartender, my friends dads owned bars, my friends and their parents all hung out at all of the a fore mentioned taverns, and before I was even old enough I was known to visit one or two of those establishments myself… taking in all of the ambience I could possibly soak up.”
I remember being in the 2nd grade and started hanging out with a few older kids. One day, I cut loose on a car driving by and the oldest kid looks at me and says, “Well we won’t have to teach you how to do that will we!”
But I’m not a kid anymore.
Speaking of kids. My own kids think it’s funny, to every once in awhile push my buttons to get me going. They expect an utterance of profanities, sometimes I oblige them, sometimes I don’t.
Don’t worry, they’re all grown. They know what they’re doing.
I’m supposed to be an Emerging Man. Self aware. Living with intentionality. Living with purpose.
And here’s a twist.
I admire, look up to, and consider it a sign of a strong character, if a man doesn’t use profanity.
It seems more “professional” to me.
I seem to turn mine “off -n- on” as my environment dictates.
Like when I have my “Minister hat on” conducting a funeral service or wedding. “OFF”
Or it’s 1a.m. and the proverbial wheels come off at work, and after the emergency is handled, a few co-workers and I are in the back office, staring down the last few hours of the night, complaining about the equipment, or the other shift, or how we’re operating on no sleep. “ON”
Babysitting the granddaughters. “OFF”
Fixing a car in the driveway. “ON”
George Carlin became world famous just using seven of those kinds of words.
But Jesus says, and I’ve focused on this verse in the past…
Matthew 5:22
22 “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[a][b] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[c] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.“
Now a days we don’t say, “Fool”, we say, “idiot”, and if we are going to call someone an “idiot”, you may as well call him a “f*&^$*g idiot!”
What really motivates us to potentially build something on a solid foundation?
We think it will help us to feel safe, to have whatever it is we place on that foundation to last, it makes us feel steady.
“Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.” Proverbs 21
If I would have held my online tongue, I would have avoided calamity, I would have avoided disappointing my friend, I would have written on a different topic this week!
They say, “There’s a time and place for every thing,” (note: that is just a worldly paraphrase of Ecclesiastes Ch. 8)
There is a time for an apology to be made; there is a time for proper introductions; and it’s customary to lay the foundation before you raise the walls.
But using foul language, whatever shape or form that means to you, … … …
Yea or Nay?
Maybe if you’re a comedian. But even George Carlin stated, “Stand Up is the lowest of art forms, it’s vulgar, it plays to the audience’s lowest, most based, and carnal passions and emotions.”
I should write a book where the whole world is full of every type, color, and culture of people and the only language they use is profane and vulgar. And the hero wakes up, and finds himself amongst the populace and can’t understand why everyone is behaving in such a way.
And when he tries to to tell them something different… he gets laughed out of town!
Oh, wait…
The Emerging Man writing to ENCOURAGE, EQUIP & ENGAGE!
Offering up POSITIVITY with WORK GLOVES!
theemergingman.com 